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    平淡日子里的刺

    分類:舍長原創 作者:Terence 來源:Terence個人網站 發布時間:2015-04-28 09:59 點擊:1709
    摘要:燈滅了,他有點無措,他原本很喜歡黑暗的,就如同他對別人說的那樣,在黑暗中誰都能更容易地撕下自己那令人作嘔的面具,更能借著黑暗的氣氛去思考白日的光鮮背后的齷齪,他覺得白天和黑夜應該是兩個世界,對應的是人前和人后,他以為自己算是一個善良的人,一個與眾不同的人,但也許他沒有想到,在這茫茫人海中,他什么都算不上,比他優秀的數不勝數,比他失敗的也不會少,對于生活中的困惑,他只能在這只有微弱光線的黑夜中思考著對策,或許還有抱怨。

    滅了,他有點無措,他原本很喜歡黑暗的,就如同他對別人說的那樣,在黑暗中誰都能更容易地撕下自己那令人作嘔的面具,更能借著黑暗的氣氛去思考白日的光鮮背后的齷齪,他覺得白天和黑夜應該是兩個世界,對應的是人前和人后,他以為自己算是一個善良的人,一個與眾不同的人,但也許他沒有想到,在這茫茫人海中,他什么都算不上,比他優秀的數不勝數,比他失敗的也不會少,對于生活中的困惑,他只能在這只有微弱光線的黑夜中思考著對策,或許還有抱怨。

    風扇轉動著,發出承軸不堪重負的吱吱聲,等到某一天它不能夠轉動的時候,會有人來把它修好,直到再也無法修復,便進了垃圾堆,這就是它存在的價值,人也是可以被“修”的,當你受生活逼迫,不堪壓力時,會有人來跟勸說安慰你撐住,要對生活抱有希望,不要放棄,并列舉某些比你更受重壓的人,給你的承軸上點油,于是你咬咬牙,便突然覺得自己仍有余力了。

    他胡思亂想著,看向對面樓透著光的窗口,居然有些向往,他把一切都想的很簡單,那么理所當然,也許這是他希望的,他希望一切都如他想的那么簡單,他就不用活得太累了,他知道一些燈下陰影中的齷齪,但在沒被他親眼注視著之前,他寧愿把這些齷齪當成三流電視劇里的狗血劇情,他有時候拿這個侃侃而談,但自己卻并不相信,不過他遲早會吃到苦頭的,他沒有想到人生如戲這個詞,這是他的悲劇,也將是他生活里的刺。

    他很討厭一些人,對他討厭的人,他不吝將最陰暗丑陋的看法加之其上,連聽見那些人的聲音,他都覺得惡心。這不能怪他,誰不是這樣呢?他有很重的疑心病,總覺得世界充滿了惡意,處處是鋒芒般的針對,但疑心病人們大抵都進入了一個誤區,世界并不是圍繞著一個人轉的,他們只是很自然的把自己帶入了被針對的角色里面,他們自視過高,把自己當成電視小說里歷經磨難的主角,其實這同樣不能怪他們,在自己的世界里,誰不是主角呢?就像功夫里火云邪神那句話:我并不是針對你,我的意思是在場的各位都是垃圾。

    垃圾一般不會承認自己垃圾的身份,他們有著對虛榮的向往,他們偶爾聽到別人在討論些什么,其中可能有些唾棄的字眼,他們總覺得有些刺耳,其實他們內心里也覺得成功的人不會被人嘲笑,屌絲才會被人看不起,所以他們格外在意別人對自己的看法,害怕自己會成為垃圾中的一員,可笑的是,在這個過程中,他們潛意識里早把自己當成了垃圾,因為成功者會害怕被別人說自己垃圾么?

    他翻了個身,輕輕嘆了一口氣,又開始哀冬傷秋起來,可生活哪有那么多感慨,他憋著一口唾沫,想找個由頭大興一番感嘆,卻差點沒把自己憋成內傷,只得悻悻罵一聲生活不如詩,突然想到自己若是生在戰火紛飛,兒女情長的民國時期,少不得也應是個徐志摩般的理想主義詩人,想到這里他打了個哈哈,畢竟現實還是太骨感,想的越多越寂寞。

    虛榮,偽善,復雜,虛假,浮夸,他覺得身邊充斥者的是這些貶義詞,心里吶喊著抗拒著不愿與之同流合污,卻又不得不違心地帶上面具湊上去一起開懷大笑,他知道,一個人是活不下去的。

    他是誰?

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